Live life to the fullest, folks… helping others brings JOY to everyone involved.
On March 27th, 2020, my friend, a leader in our community, Carl shared his thoughts on COVID19 with me.
“It’s hard to believe that we are facing this crisis in these times. I hope that people everywhere, especially our beautiful little town, realize how serious this situation is. I look forward to seeing our local businesses reopen and prosper like never before. Perhaps, we will all be a little closer, once this is over.” – Carl Drake, La Cruz De Huanacaxtle
On August 3rd, 2020 Carl took his last breath, leaving a huge void for so many. He didn’t die from COVID, but from cancer, a nasty version that snuck up on him, the love of his life, Lisa shared.
Carl and his lovely wife, Lisa, moved to La Cruz a few short years ago. They’ve made a huge difference in our town, most remarkably the impressions they make with each person they met. Carl always greeted me with a belly laugh and a great big hug calling me his little sis – I liked that. I so wish I could have spent more time with my new ‘big bro’.
Embracing their new home, loving La Cruz de Huanacaxtle, and quietly giving back they figured it all out… or so they thought. In Carl’s words;
“How do you begin a story about something you had no idea you would ever be involved with? I suppose you just begin at the beginning.
In October 2017, Lisa and I retired and chased our retirement dream to La Cruz De Huanacaxtle, Nayarit, Mexico. We purchased a condo in a nice complex with wonderful amenities. As we began to acclimate ourselves to our new country, we were made aware of a restaurant and music venue, called the Tree House Bar. The establishment was owned by Alfredo Jimenez and his wife, Marichuy. We began to go to music shows there and a friendship began with Alfredo and Marichuy.
Shortly after the first of the year 2018 we met and became good friends with a couple from Long Beach, CA, Greg, and Mary. We had also become friends with a couple from Canada, Wayne, and Marj. As time went on, we all attended music shows together at the Tree House Bar. As we did, our friendship with Alfredo and Marichuy grew for all of us. As the year 2018, became 2019, Alfredo confided in us, telling us the lease on the Tree House was going to expire at the end of High Season and not be renewed by the owners. Soon, we realized that their business might go away if they couldn’t find a new location. This would be a terrible blow to the music scene in La Cruz, as well as the charitable work they do for our town.
They had big dreams. Huge dreams really; Buy their own place, maybe build a place where they could live and work. As time went on, we became aware of how difficult this would be for Alfredo and Marichuy. They have a mortgage, three beautiful daughters, two of whom would be college-age soon, and Dinah, a soon to be 4-year-old. That is when our friends Greg and Mary decided to help them get started and Lisa and I decided to join in this endeavor. We just LOVE them so much, they’re kinda like our kids. Greg said, “It will be an investment in our community!” We earmarked an amount of money we would put into a budget, no strings attached. Their job was to find the venue. Our money would go for renovations and construction. Shortly after we made this decision, our friends, Wayne and Marj decided to join us. In June 2019, the new location of the Tree House Bar and Grill was found. This is where the story really takes off. Lisa and I live full time here, so our unofficial job became one of the pseudo project managers, handling the payouts for various work, materials, etc. Greg would transfer money to Alfredo from California when needed.
The location they chose was a lease property and happens to sit exactly next door to the previous location. It was once a horse corral that turned into a venue that people used for parties. It had a covered roof area and bathrooms, so there was a little infrastructure but not much. It also was home to a 50+-year-old Huanacaxtle Tree. The same tree which grew inside Octopus’ Garden, where their previous location was housed. We considered this good Karma.
Alfredo had agreed to a five-year lease, with an option for 3 more years. The rent was reasonable, and he was very happy with the decision to begin the new Tree House Bar and Grill at this new location. The landlord had a construction crew working in the place and he told Alfredo he would have them continue working. Unfortunately, the crew wasn’t very reliable because they were also working on other projects for the landlord. So, the initial work and progress was extremely slow.
As we got closer and closer to High Season, it became apparent that this crew would never complete the work needed in order to open the place for the new season on time. Greg stepped in and told him to release the landlord’s crew and hire his own in early September. This decision was one of the best we made.
Earlier in the process, Lisa was in our community pool one afternoon and told our artist friend, Nancy Hache about the new place. Together, with Nancy’s generosity and talent, they came up with the idea to paint a mural on the wall in the area that would house the stage, dance floor and dining area for the shows that would be presented there. Thus, The Tree House Gang was born. Friends and acquaintances worked over a 2-week period, led by Nancy and her vision and the finished mural is absolutely beautiful. A Tree of Life with a treehouse in it. Many long sweaty days later… the result is amazing. Lisa and I are very happy to have been a small part of bringing it to life.
As the construction continued, Greg and Mary returned to California for the Summer to escape the hot weather in La Cruz. Time passed and after Wayne had agreed to be part of our endeavor, he stopped communicating with us. We knew something had to be wrong. I was able to locate an email address for Marj and wrote to her. Wayne had discovered he had gotten cancer early in 2019, a type that required Chemo. He had been getting his treatments and was continuing to run his business in Canada and his doctors told him he was doing well. Unfortunately, in late July, this changed, Wayne developed a blood infection and on August 9, passed away. He never got a chance to contribute to our project, most understandably so. We never spoke of it to his wife, Marj and assumed that the budget we had was now the budget that would have to get the job done.
Then something miraculous occurred. About 4 or 5 days after Wayne’s memorial service, Greg received an email from Marj and Wayne’s daughter, Nicole. Her email said one of the things her Dad wanted to be done after he passed, was to send the money to help Alfredo and Marichuy. When Greg told me this, it confirmed what I had learned about Wayne Robson. He was a stand-up guy who kept his word. Marj is cut from the same cloth. Both are two of the best people we have ever met. I miss Wayne very much and am proud to have called him my friend.
Work on the venue continued and after a 3-week vacation in September for Lisa and me, we returned to La Cruz and saw the tremendous progress that Alfredo and the newly hired construction crew had made. The kitchen was being completed. The bar was being constructed; and the stage built. The electrical work was getting done. Getting a new crew was the smartest thing we did. The Tree House was going to make its target date for a soft opening of October 5. The Grand Opening and first music show would take place on October 19th, with Cheko Ruiz and his band along with other acts.
On October 19th, over 150 people came to the Grand Opening of the new Tree House Bar and Grill. It was still Rainy Season here and of course, it rained cats, dogs, and small mammals that evening. The venue is half open-air, so we were crammed under the covered area. Nobody seemed to mind, and the party went on as scheduled. We were a little wet, but this didn’t matter. The evening was a giant success and introduced the early snowbirds to the new place.
Time has passed now, and the Tree House Bar and Grill is becoming one of the go-to places in our area. People come to see the place and return again later for one of the shows or evening dinner specials. The business is booming! And, our dear friends have a budding success story.
A few people have asked Greg, Mary, Lisa, and I why we would do this for Alfredo and Marichuy the way we did. I have a couple theories, if you will, but the best answer was from Greg. My brother, Mitch was here and he said to Greg what a nice thing we did. Greg’s answer was spot-on. Greg told Mitch, “It just seemed like the right thing to do.” That pretty much sums it up. My other theory is that somehow, Lisa and I were brought here to do this. I’ll believe that, too.
The experience has changed me, personally. I have a different perspective on the world now. I never, in a million years, thought I would find myself involved in something like this with people I have grown to love and respect. Being involved in this is the proudest thing I have ever done. I actually tear up occasionally, when I think about how this happened. I also want to say how much we love the Jimenez family. They are some of the finest people we have ever met, and it was an honor to help them with their dream.
That’s the story from my perspective. It’s wild and crazy how this happened. I am forever happy that it did.
Carl
Lisa lost her best friend and soulmate; from Lisa:
“Carl had a very aggressive form of kidney cancer. His prognosis was not good. If there is a blessing in this situation, it’s that he didn’t linger and suffer for any great length of time.
Carl’s treatment in Mexico has been state of the art. The very same therapy would have been initiated in the US, however probably not as quickly due to the delays in seeing specialists in US facilities. We were blessed to work with very compassionate doctors who gave us their cell phone numbers and immediately responded on the many occasions we were dealing with complications. We both believed this was the place where Carl needed to be treated.
I’m planning a ‘Celebration of Life’ to honor his memory with our friends and family in Mexico. I anticipate it will be in November or later, depending upon when people are able to travel again due to the Covid-19 concerns. We have many friends from the US and Canada who hope to return to La Cruz later this year. I will provide an update with the details once we are able to make plans.
I have seen the many heartfelt and beautiful posts honoring Carl on Facebook. Knowing that Carl touched so many people and made friends with almost every person he met brings me great comfort. I’m fortunate to have had 33 years of adventures to build memories of my life with Carl. He was a very loving husband and best friend. I have always known I was fortunate to have found my soul mate who was willing to dream with me and then follow the dream to Mexico. We have been truly blessed throughout our journey together. Carl had only one regret. He wanted to see his daughter Merin, however the pandemic made that a very difficult wish to have granted.
Thank you to each and every one of you for being our friends. Our lives have been made much richer by our relationship with each of you. Your words of comfort, support and honoring Carl’s memory mean the world to me as I deal with this devastating loss. So many of you have offered any assistance I may need. I’m certain I’ll be reaching out at times to heal in the love of the many people who knew and loved Carl. I’m grateful for the outpouring of support during Carl’s horrible illness and now when his suffering has ended.
Carl quickly became a part of our little community in Mexico. He made many friends and loved the warm and giving spirit of the local residents. La Cruz de Huanacaxtle is a very special place with live music, great restaurants and beautiful beaches. Our dream was fulfilled, and we had a wonderful time making this our full-time home.
If anyone would like to make a memorial contribution, I recommend donating to the La Cruz Food Pantry. Carl was involved in the initial plans to start a food bank and it was very important to him to know that the people of La Cruz were not going hungry due to the loss of jobs during the pandemic. They are doing amazing work and provided food to over 300 families. Here’s a link to the La Cruz Food Pantry Facebook page:
TO DONATE:
- GoFundMe
- PayPal or Zelle – send funds to LaCruzFoodPantry@gmail.com
- Canadian etransfer – contact Fiona at fmacnicol@gmail.com
- Mexican etransfer – contact us at LaCruzFoodPantry@gmail.com
- Physical donations (cash and food) – Tree House Bar & Grill from 4-10pm.
Thanks again for your love and support. I know I am blessed with such wonderful friends and family. For the present I’ll monitor Carl’s Facebook page and messenger if you want to communicate with me.
With love and gratitude to all of you,
Lisa
With daughter, Merin
From Mitch Drake
“Carl was my brother. But more than that he was an exceptional person.
He taught me a lot, not so much when we were growing up, but long after I should have been worldly and wise. He taught me that most people are good hearted. He taught me that the greatest feeling you can have is helping people who are struggling to get by. He taught me that people deserve kindness. He taught me to be more outgoing and to stop being cynical. He taught me that a smile and understanding goes a long way. He taught me to cherish the wonderful people in my life, especially my wife; as he cherished Lisa.
He felt he was the luckiest man in the world to have found Lisa, right up to the day he passed away. He said it almost every day.
My brother was one of a kind and it doesn’t seem real he is gone.
I am not a Facebook guy and don’t have 1/100th of the friends that Carl has. But I wanted everyone to know that in addition to being a fantastic friend to all of you, he was the best big brother in the world. I will always be beyond grateful to have him as my brother and to be able to have all the conversations brothers should have the last months of his life. I miss him beyond words.”
Respectfully:
Mitch Drake
Loved by so many, there Carl had two best friends.
Chris Langlois had planned to get married in Mexico. Best friend of Carl, Chris told me:
“Carl is my best friend, and I wanted him to be my best man at my wedding. Carl wouldn’t be able to travel to the US for a wedding, so we wanted to come to him. We had planned a late fall wedding in La Cruz. Carl so wanted to hang on for that. He and Lisa are like family to us. How we met… often when you go on vacation to places like Mexico, you meet people from other parts of the US. It always seems like you tell each other you’ll stay in touch, but you never do. Carl and I did. It started in a hot tub at a resort in Playa del Carmen. Carl had an island tattoo on his back. Being a big Jimmy Buffett fan, I waded over and said, “Excuse me, but are you a Parrothead (What Jimmy Buffett fans are called”. Carl looked at me with a big smile and said, “My Brother would say I was a Parrothead in Training”. We stayed in touch after that, and Carl became my best friend, me in Omaha and he and Lisa in St. Louis.
That was typical of Carl. Strangers were only friend he had not yet met.We communicated almost every day in some form or fashion. Being self proclaimed “pun masters”, we once went for 4 hours texting fish/ocean related puns back and forth to each other.My fiancé Karla and I just moved to North Carolina from Omaha. During the drive I passed by the St. Louis Cardinals stadium where Carl took me to my first MLB game. Unbeknownst to us, that particular night was also Margaritaville night at the stadium, highlighted by a concert with a Trop Rock (Tropical Rock) band we both loved called The Boat Drunks. Naturally, Carl was good friends with all of the band members.Carl was a caring, loving person who would do anything for anyone in need. He was there for me through several hard times in life, and I will always be very grateful to whatever power out there that put us both in that hot tub in Mexico. He will always be missed by me and so many other friends who’s lives he touched in one way or another. A quote that Carl and I loved and often shared was by Mark Twain:“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.”
Greg Lucido and Carl only met a few years ago when they both created retirement lives in La Cruz de Huanacaxtle, Mexico. They became fast friends and the pure joy between them was delightful.
“I never had a friend so close until I met Carl. We had so many great times together. He was like a brother to me.”
Jeff Braden, an old friend of Carl’s from the St. Louis area shared his sentiments for Carl.
Yesterday I got the news, My friend had passed away. It still seems so unreal, There was so much left to say. Another friend then called me… just so I would know. We tried to talk about it, but the tears began to flow. We shared a love of music, of the beach, the sea, and the sun. Neither of us knows how long life’s race would run. He had a wandering spirit, oh the places he did go. It came as no surprise to me when he left for Mexico. He and his love, Lisa, Who could ask for too much more. Drinking at the Tree House Bar, living down there by the shore. There’s a shot glass that he sent me, and a tee-shirt I hold dear. I’ll slip it on, raise the glass to Carl and wish that he were here. I’ll think of him forever when I hear those Buffett songs. He’s on that beach in heaven, right where he belongs.
Tribute from Michael Grady… to my lifelong friend
It’s been over 55 years, but I can still remember that summer day in 1965. Kiwanis Park, Decatur, Illinois Doing what most 8-year olds do in the summer, we were seriously involved in a pickup baseball game. Kids were pretty tough then, the older boys making sure the younger boys knew their place, which made us play even harder. At the end of a long, hot dusty game there a couple of 8-year olds proved a few points to the older crowd. This tall bird legged kid came walking up to me and said “ you Grady, ya you Drake” almost at the same time we both said “ I heard of you” followed by that trademark Carl “ What’s going on Man “ I still hear it today, I hear it every day, I will hear it always for me it is Carl. A lifelong friendship was born. During the next 16 years or so we were practically inseparable, life was like an endless summer, about 10 years later we were at a park for a softball game and I sliced my hand on a broken bottle, Carl comes running up, stating the obvious “you’re bleeding, you can’t play! Good, he states give me your cleats I left mine at home” and starts to untie them then he said hey stop bleeding on the shoes, I replied, “well it’s my blood & my shoes” he looks up trying to suppress a large grin “ not right now there not” That the way it was between us, One last youth story the basketball team, YMCA Church League, Calvary Apostolic another of Carls great friends, Gary Borders, was on the team, his brother was our coach. So one day I asked Carl and Gary “look guys you know I can’t play basketball,” they both said “ Ya we know”, “so why I’m I here “ They both look me in the eye “ Look your main job is to keep peppermint schnapps in the water bottle, and when we put you the game, don’t touch the ball ever” ok I said how does that help the team? Carl says “When I give you the single all I want you to do is tackle the guy I nod to”. I led the league in technical fouls, then as with most things, the carefree days slowly got overtaken by life in the real world, and over the next 10 years, we both got on with our lives. Being in the military I spent a lot of time bouncing around the world, mainly all the garden spots, remember this was a time when we used something called letter writing & the postal service, & overseas phone calls were not easy. So, we lost track for a while, but he was never far from my thoughts. Then in 1993, I discovered the internet, slow and limited and cell phones were still only on Star Trek, but never the less we found each other again, “So what’s going on man” rang in my ears once again, it was like we had seen each other yesterday, we didn’t skip a beat, that’s what it was like between Carl and me. I remember the day he told me about Lisa, he was like a breath of fresh air had blown into his life, he was so happy, I was happy for him, talk about made for each other, “she fits man” I told him. During the darker times of my life when I was in Iraq and Afghanistan Carl was always there for me, email was not too practical, so it was back to the letters, just being Carl made some days seem better. I told my wife there were things I could relay to him because I did not want her to worry, we talked about the simple things that come from a lifetime of respect, trust, brotherly love. He would email or call my wife in England to ask how she was doing, she never forgot his kindness, but that is who he, was my friend Carl. Over the last 13 years, we talked or mailed often, we laughed, smiled, talked baseball, old movies, supported each other, remembered the old and the new days. I loved Carl like a brother and I always will, I thank Lisa for putting up with me, and I thank Mitch for letting me be a brother. To quote a friend in the band “the long and winding road will forever lay before us “
In the military, we don’t say goodbye, “Oh you good Carl you” Until our next post my friend…
Hi Lisa,
Sara and I wanted to reach out and personally express our condolences to you on Carl‘s passing. We were so happy to see and hear about the tropical retirement you guys always dreamed of, and heartbroken to see it cut short for Carl. We will remember Carl most for his love of life and those he held close, his unique sense of humor and his infectious passion – he was truly an “all in” guy. He loved to entertain and make people laugh – you could see the joy in his face.
Here’s some of our favorite ‘Carl memories’ over the years. I hope these will bring you some comfort and maybe a little smile during this time of sadness. You are in our thoughts! Love, Mike and Sara
Wineries: This chapter started when I had re-connected with you and Carl many years ago, and you showed up for our first of many enjoyable winery trips with a “My Name is Lisa” name badge when I had accidentally called you ‘Cindy’ at Kent’s place. 😊 Carl always said that our winery visits “were the start of Lisa’s drinking career.” Thank you for sharing the Carbondale wine trail with us – it was a blast!
Trivia: I loved how Carl would organize a trivia ‘team’ around subject matter experts and was honored to be his ‘science and geography’ guy. Your tiny diplodocus mascot and Carl’s amazing recall skills brought us a ‘top 3’ finish many times. Fav Carl trivia quote: “Sir, that question was trivial, not trivia!”
Cornie: What a beautiful, relaxing place. You are truly blessed to have that in your family. Thank you for all the invites over the years, especially the year I was going through my divorce – in a way, you saved me. Remember my “walk-abouts” and the now infamous Fly Island anchor faux pas when Carl, Doug, and I paddled our asses off to get us back to shore?! I loved the wind sock ‘project’ that Carl and I worked on together one year – a prideful moment for both of us.
Music: I can’t say enough about Carl’s musical influence on people – and he wasn’t even a musician! His thoughtful CD playlists were the best – I must have 20+ of them, all personalized by Carl. Sara and mine’s fav is Petty “Random Cuts”, which is a funny title because Carl never did anything random! He was the most purposeful guy I know. We all had a blast at the Chesney concert in KC – that was the best planned tailgate party Sara and I have ever seen. You two were an amazing team!!
All things ‘Salt Life’: Carl’s love of Buffett/Chesney trop rock, his fav Hawaiian shirts, the tropical décor on your deck in Fenton, the charming pride Carl took in your ‘pool opening’ process every year, Carl’s beach-theme Xmas greetings on FB. All of it centered around Carl’s love for the beach and the ocean. I will never forget the excitement on your and Carl’s faces when you guys would talk about your retirement plans. Thank you for all your Mexico tips for our CRT vaca!!
Carl’s wit: His quick come-backs, clever sayings and general sense of humor were famous. The joy he brought to all his Facebook friends is legendary. I can’t tell you how many times I heard someone say “Did you see Carl’s funny FB post?”. My favorite story of Carl’s sharp wit is a Cardinals game he and I went to – we planned to meet Todd and his neighbor Jerry. Jerry was obnoxious as ever that night and yelled out to Carl when he saw us “I guess it must be Ugly Ball Cap Night” giving shit to Carl about his colorful baseball cap. Not missing a beat, Carl yelled back “Hey Todd, you have your games mixed up. Bring Your Ugly Neighbor Night is next week!” 😊 My fav ‘Carl sayings’: Ask an engineer for the time and he’ll tell ya how a watch works. In response to the misspoken “I could care less” he would say “…then why don’t you?”. His hearty laugh when he would quote classic comedians or Yogi Berra. And my personal favorite “Mike throws his nickels around like they are sewer lids.” Priceless.
COVID 19 has created divisiveness in our world and in our community too. Please: Respect each other and…
“Be Kind, Be Generous, Be Love!”
Thank you for your generosity, kindness, and LOVE Carl. May you truly rest in peace.
Beautiful, beautiful , beautiful !!! ❤️
That was beautiful. Thanks for this Cindy!
Thanks Wayne. Such a loss for so many!