Characters: Philo Hayward

Tribute to a Community Leader; Philo Hayward

It is with great sadness that we mourn the loss of Philo Hayward. This is an article I wrote for the Vallarta Tribune published on September 10th, 2015.

Returning to La Cruz I realize that in the six years I’ve lived here this is the second time I’ve returned with a heavy heart. The first time was momentous… as I walked into the bar, Philo calls to me from his music perch; “Welcome home Cindy, so sorry to hear about your dad”. Others echoed his sentiment… tears flowed. That was Philo, that is our community, such love!

Now, returning home early from vacation to be with our friends, our family, my hearts sinks… it’s difficult to fathom reintegrating to such pain, such tragic loss, there are no words, the feeling sucks. B R E A T H E, I remind myself, over and over. Walking into Philo’s bar without Philo is the hardest we’ve all done. Community comes together to cry, hug, share stories and grieve.

A sense of community resonates as the greatest gift of living in a small Mexican town. In my experience, the locals embrace those who love their town enough to pack up their belongings and change their lives, drastically, embracing a new world. Generally known as ‘expats’ we come together in fun, we give back to the community and we support each other in various ways sharing tips, techniques and information on navigating our new land.

This week the heart of our town of La Cruz hurts. People are paying tribute to our friend and supporting those he left behind. We’re all here for Maria, Alejandro and Diego. Family and friends are arriving from afar. Good friend, Kathleen Dobek shared about the many events;

“Russ and I were at Philo’s club for almost 5 hours on Sunday for the wake/novena. We finally went home for dinner, having no idea the gathering would continue until midnight. I was told that after we left, even more of our Mexican neighbors came and the women sang, and that it was very moving. Oscar Fuentes arrived last night.

I was part of a small group that walked behind the hearse to the Church on Monday. While we walked, the women sang the novena, and then Sandra Marquez sang a beautiful song in Spanish. She later told me that it had the line, “he left by boat”, and that she sang it because Philo arrived by boat.

The mass at the La Cruz church was very nice and very emotional. A woman with a beautiful voice sang while Esau and Daniel played (of Tatewari). Dogs wandered in and out. The church was packed and there were as many Mexicans as expats. One of the Mexican women got up and recounted all that Philo had done for the community. At one point, the four women who are responsible for the founding and operations of the Casa de la Tecer Edad got up and stood at each corner of the casket.

We all slowly followed the hearse back to Philo’s, and then about 4 vehicles formed the procession behind the hearse and we drove to the crematorium on the other side of Pitillal. There we said our last goodbyes. Oscar, Peggy and Leon were with us to support Maria, as well her brother and a few others.

Philo’s ashes are now at his club.

We are a saddened, quiet group, still trying to accept this. Philo’s legacy will continue in La Cruz.”

Philo wore many hats; husband, friend, father, son, brother, cousin, uncle, musician, mentor, philanthropist and community leader and all around good guy. We celebrated Philo Hayward on June 26^th at his combined party for his 70^th birthday and the 14^th anniversary of Philo’s bar. No one could imagine that the vibrant man, humbled by this gathering of people celebrating him, would leave us so soon. To say he left a legacy is an understatement; first in Mendocino, California where the music program he created kept kids entertained so they stayed out of trouble and then in La Cruz. His influence/participation/service helped youth in our town, assisted seniors, helped keep our town clean, provided needed items in the schools, provided Christmas presents to kids and their moms and purchased medical assistance for those in need. I’ve only been in La Cruz for the past 6 years but mention fundraising for a cause and Philo’s name always comes up.

Inconceivably, on September 5^th, 2015, Philo was taken from us, that great big heart that loved and loved was tired and had no more to give. La Cruz will never be the same but because of him it is better than before he strolled up the street, guitar in hand and mentioned that the place he was playing would be perfect for a bar. They sold it to him. Over the years Philo’s Bar has become a hangout, a place of comfort and refuge, a home away from home for so many.

I asked others to pay tribute to our friend; here is what they said.

Philo laid the cobble stone road of goodwill in La Cruz making it easy for all to follow his path of generosity and human kindness. ~ Hans Peterman, La Cruz, Mexico

We are honored and blessed to call Philo our friend. Because of him our life is richer with the many friends we have met thru Philo. Philo’s Bar was a boat cruisers place, a meeting place, a gathering place, and became a landmark in the community of La Cruz. It won’t be the same, but we hope it can continue… Adios Compadre. ~ Dan and Debbie Orlando, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

From the time I met Philo in 1999 I knew he was a special man. I was chosen to help him develop his dream. What a special time I had with him and tried to duplicate his helping of people in my ventures. I’m sure the entire Bahia de Banderas will miss this great human being. ~ Sandy Coffen

I first discovered the gem of La Cruz de Huanacaxtle about 8 years ago. I was looking for a new home and visited with my sister. Our first night in town we were told about Philo’s Bar, we were welcomed by Philo and his team and felt at home immediately. The decision to purchase my home in La Cruz was greatly influenced by my experience at Philo’s, may Philo’s presence always be felt in our town. Condolences to his family, friends and the community. ~ Annette Daniels, La Cruz de Huanacaxtle.

Put quite simply, Philo was an Ambassador for La Cruz, an Ambassador for Mexico and most of all, an Ambassador for music. ~ Michael Crane, La Cruz, Mexico

Philo encouraged me to pick up my guitar again after 40 years of silence. A year later, he let me stand on his stage and play along. Two years later I began standing on his stage full time, two nights a week. Without Philo Hayward I would still be wishing I remembered how to play. I will be forever grateful. ~ Michael McIntyre, Originally from Chicago now lives in La Cruz.

La Cruz will be in a vacuum!! Philo was responsible for getting me started in music. I’ll never forget him. ~ Russell Cresto

Dearly loved, much admired, mentor to so many and friends to all. I had only known Philo for 2 years, which is such a small amount of time in comparison to so many others. Many Banderas bay folks know Philo for his band, “Philo Hayward and the Shuffle Band” for the live music and fun times at Philo’s Bar in La Cruz. He had just received his Mexican Citizenship earlier this year and was very proud of that. During the short time I knew Philo he showed me great kindness, professionalism and honor. He was an excellent and genuine hugger; a person who really cared from his heart. I witnessed so many different ways that Philo helped everyone who crossed his path, from large groups to individuals and I enjoyed writing about them. I was so blessed to be able to attend his 70^th birthday party earlier this year with his La Cruz neighbors and surrounding communities, where he was honored with so many plaques of appreciation and videos from those both near and afar who could not attend. Philo was deeply touched and looking back, this was such a fortuitous and presentiment sendoff to such a prominent part of his adopted land and the expat community. Philo’s partner and love of his life, Maria Joaquina Sierra has stated many times, “We have lost the Captain of our Ship”, he was, “Captain” for so many. Many blessings of love go out to Maria and the children at this time. May you rest in peace Philo Hayward; and many blessings of grace for your transition. Our memories of you will always live within all of us; your legacy never forgotten. ~ Cat Morgan

He was an amazing person and a gift to all those who meet him. Certainly an angel for la Cruz, his legacy will be remembered and hopefully will be carried on. ~ Boaters, Jim and Anne Crossley

Philo put La Cruz on the map, his music and bar was the go to place for everybody to hang out, dance, meet people and more. ~ Ference Sandy

“Philo’s life runs like an adventure novel through my mind.”The Adventures Of Philo Hayward”. His was truly a life well lived. He packed so much into his 70 years, picking up friends all along the way. He was a golden gloves boxer, a champion pool player (as was his brother Carl) and hustled many a dollar at the billiards tables. He was a Navy Corpsman, a hydroplane racer, a sailor who made two trans-Pacific voyages on his sailboat, Cherokee. In his early 20s, he traveled alone around the world, nearly robbed by bandits in Afghanistan. They let him be because they said he had even less than they had. He stopped in India and lived in Calcutta for 6 months. He built a fine home and a music studio out of a raw redwood forest in Mendocino, California. He was a high school teacher. He was a tremendous nurturing father to his step-son and step-daughter. And, as most of us know he was a great musician. His passion in life was playing music and he found a way to do it almost full-time. But, I think, his greatest passion was people. He loved so many, including me, and I am so grateful that I had one last time to hug him when he visited me here in Santa Barbara this summer. His departure leaves a huge chasm in my life.” ~ Randy Acorn, Santa Barbara, California

Philo was a great friend, and an inspiration to many of us. While it’s so hard to lose him, I know his legacy will live on. Philo’s will continue to be home to great music, great times, and great people from all over the world. His torch of passion for community will be carried high, and with honor. Thanks, Philo. ~ Chris Bouchard, La Cruz

Philo helped me to remember important things:

• There are no borders
• That music is the best medicine and the universal language
• The ocean is always your friend
• That smiles may give wrinkles, but it also warms hearts
• Children teach us more than books do
• That life without judging others is the best way of living
• Love given feeds the soul
• That the family is not defined merely as a common last name
• Love exists when it is received.
• That happiness flows outward from within – not the other way around.

And finally, the best philosophy can be as simple as shouting: Tequila for la bandaaa! ~ Silvia (Yaya)

As I write these tributes I just know Philo would have something super nice to say about everyone above, he was like that.

We often hear folks say it’s too soon when people pass away, true story. Sail away my dear friend! Philo you are so loved, Rest in Peace. We’ll do our best to have your legacy live on!!

Below is my original story of Philo.

Philo’s bar, the man behind the name…

Our first visit to Philo’s had nothing to do with Philo Hayward. Chris and I were walking about checking out what was to be our new town, we saw a bar, walked in and met Alfredo.

We had a drink and he told us about the bar and about the town. Alfredo is Philo’s manager and main man! I don’t have the exact date but that was sometime in October 2009. NOT TO take anything away from the graciousness, kindness, and all-around hospitality of Alfredo, what we experienced that day was the environment Philo created for his clients!

Then, although I LOVED to dance to Philo’s music and received a nod or wave or a polite hello from him, my next connection was with Philo’s lovely lady and now my good friend, Maria.

Believing I couldn’t learn Spanish, I asked, begged actually, Maria to teach me. She did, well she tried, right there in the middle of Philo’s. She’d include the staff in my training as she’d point to herself and say “Yo”, to me and say “Tu” and to both of us and say “Nosotros”, to a male worker and say “El”, to one of the gals and say “Ella” and then she yelled “Ellas” and flung her arm around pointing, and as if on cue the staff appeared and I said “they”. Everyone cheered. I was so proud.

Yes, that’s when I felt the family and the love of Philo’s, that Philo Hayward created. Over the years Philo’s has become a hangout, a place of comfort and refuge, a home away from home for so many. I’d say a place where everyone knows your name but there’s another bar that claims that!

Philo created more than a bar in our town and has done so much that is good!

Who was your greatest influence/mentor in music?

Texas and California alternative country music. Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, Steve Earl, Texas Tornados. The eagles, The Flying Burrito Brothers, The Grateful Dead. My favorite songwriter is Rodney Crowell.

What is your favorite song to play?

Pancho and Lefty written by country singer and songwriter Townes Van Zandt. Very well crafted song.

I’m one of your groupies and love your songs. Your latest about a drinking buddy, how did that evolve and what inspired you to write it?

I was listening to another song and was inspired to write this one. It turned out to be nothing like the one that inspired me. That happens a lot.

What one thing do you think your fans don’t know about you?

That I taught Music for 7 years in an Alternative school in Mendocino California.

Do you have a favorite quote?

Yes. “Don’t worry be hippy.” This is a quote from my good friend Oscar Fuentes. It’s a play on the quote “Don’t worry be happy.”

Do you miss living on your boat?

Not really. I am so busy and happy with what I am doing now that I don’t look back much at all. Wouldn’t trade the experience of sailing for anything though. Well, maybe a million dollars.

You have 4 fundraisers per year whereby you support local causes at Philo’s bar. How did each of these come to you?

While living and working in California my band was asked to participate in lots of benefits. When I came here I saw so much need and since I knew from experience how to help out, it just came as second nature to me. One of the things that happened was that several ladies from the village came to me one day and asked me if they could get on the microphone and ask for donations for a senior center that they wanted to build. I told them yes but asked them if they wanted to have a benefit to raise a lot of money. Naturally, they said yes and so that was how the senior center benefits started. After doing several big benefits we raised enough money, (along with money from the Municipality) to build a center here in town. Now every year we do a benefit for their operating expense and maintenance on the building.

There are 4 fundraisers each year?

~ Seniors center

~ Friendship club

~ Amigos de la Cruz

~ School

Yes, those are the benefits that we do here at Philo’s. We have been doing different schools each year.

Philo didn’t mention what he does for the kids at Christmas. It’s amazing. He enrolls many to donate, to shop, to be elves, etc. He then calls in Santa to hand out the goodies to the many adoring kids!

What is the one thing you’re most proud of in your life? Greatest achievement kinda thing?

I’m most proud of my family. And that goes to my extended family as well. They are all absolutely incredible.

If you had a magic wand, what would your wish for La Cruz be 5 years from now and beyond?

I would like it to remain pretty much the same as it is now. I know that there will be more people coming to our beautiful little pueblo and my hope is that it grows in an organic way and that the rich developers and new entrepreneurs in the village don’t try to make it into the next “big thing.” I would, however, like to see the streets and infrastructure upgraded. I have been trying to encourage the powers that be, to do this sort of thing for some time now, including burying all the overhead power, phone and TV cables. I now see that they have begun to do this and that makes me feel optimistic about La Cruz’s future.

It is your birthday, is there anything you’re especially grateful for?

Friends and family. I know that fame and fortune have passed me by and that I am who I am and that is enough for me. As long as I have my friends and family I am happy.

Anything else?

Yes. Don’t worry be hippy.

You may be curious of when Philo arrived here and what led him to his choices here. Many have their versions… my favorite “Philo got here in 2001, 9 years ago”.

From Philo:

A journalist asked me to write a 300-word essay about coming to Mexico and how I liked it. I thought I would share it with my friends.

I have been a musician all my adult life. I came to Mexico on my sailboat after selling my recording studio. It was located on a ranch in beautiful Northern California. I had a wonderfully fulfilling life before coming to Mexico but somehow I knew it was time to move on. I really wanted to sail around the world but after making landfall in Banderas Bay and anchoring my boat off a small fishing village called La Cruz de Huanacaxtle my ideas on how to reinvent my life began to evolve.

The first thing that happened was I fell in love with the village of La Cruz de Huanacaxtle located on the Banderas Bay in an area appropriately called “Riviera Nayarit.” I started hanging out at the restaurants and bars playing my music and it all felt so comfortable. The Mexican people are sweet and gentle people and the local ex-pat community was vibrant and full of great energy. It’s been 13 years now and I still harbor the same feelings for my community. It’s just a wonderful place to be.

Just after I first arrived to La Cruz I was invited to a party that took place in the center of the village at a vacation rental house. The place had a big palapa, (an open-sided dwelling with a thatched roof made of dried palm leaves) and an already existing bar. I had a great time, the music was fun and I met a lot of new people. I suggested to someone that this would make a great Restaurant/bar and his response was “the place is for sale”. Needless to say, I bought the place and turned it into Philo’s Restaurant/Bar.

We are in our 13th year and the place is a huge success. Philo’s gets somewhere between 400 and 500 people a week through its doors. Most are ex-pats and cruisers, (boaters). For many of these people life has given them so much and now they are ready to start giving something back. Here at Philo’s, with their help, we do lots of benefits for the community and have started many other major programs for the community. It’s very gratifying.

I might add that, where I am in Mexico it is very seasonal and during the summer months when everyone has left, I continued sailing. The first year I sailed to Tahiti and left my boat in Raiatea next to Bora Bora. The second summer I sailed to Fiji and the third summer to just off the coast of Australia where I sold my boat in New Caledonia.

THANKS for sharing, Philo!

Every year, Philo has a birthday bash and you’re invited. Come out on June 26th and let’s have a blast celebrating Philo’s birthday (and the birthday of many friends) and the Anniversary of Philo’s Bar! Check out Philo’s website here.